Friday Film Review

Nov 12, 2023

Two very different films are generating buzz at the box office. The epic “Oppenheimer” has already been reviewed here.

So I’ve got “Barbie.” I am become Pastel, the destroyer of taste.

The director, Greta Gerwig, co-wrote the film with Noah Baumbach. They explain, to begin with, that the Barbie doll showed girls that professional grown-up women could be role models.

So in their idyllic, plastic universe, the Barbies run government, business and the culture. The Kens are hunky accessories who don’t have to worry their pretty little heads about anything.

Stereotypical Barbie is played by Margot Robbie with blinding teeth and chirpiness. But lately she’s been plagued by thoughts of darkness, death—even cellulite. She seeks out the crazy but wise Weird Barbie (played by Kate McKinnon) who says that somewhere, a human Barbie owner is feeling angst.

Traveling to Reality—somehow—our heroine finds this very imperfect world hasn’t been improved much by Barbie. She meets up with a harried single mom (played by America Ferrara) who is an employee at Mattel, and her hostile, disillusioned daughter (played by Ariana Greenblatt.)

Meanwhile, Ryan Gosling, as Beach Ken, has stowed away on the trip and is overjoyed to find the real world is ruled by something called Patriarchy, which involves loud guys and horses.

He takes his vision back to Barbieland. (It is explicitly compared to an infection overwhelming a native population.) Before you know it, the Barbies are brainwashed and the Kens are triumphantly mansplaining.

To its credit, “Barbie” is original, with a garish, detailed world that isn’t based on a Marvel or D.C. comic, an aging 80’s hero, or an even older Disney property. It happily sprinkles in-jokes inspired by everything from “2001” to “The Matrix.”

But the campiness feels more bitter than affectionate.

The film wears its message on its sleeve. “Patriarchy” is mentioned so often it could be a drinking game. (But I shouldn’t give the Kens any ideas.) Ferrara has her say with a long, impassioned speech.

And in a brief glimpse, the Barbie Supreme Court shows more intelligence than the movie’s entire male universe, real or plastic. That includes a gaggle of Mattel executives (led by Will Ferrell) trying to stop the disruption in the Force. An outcast doll, Alan (played by Michael Cera) gets closest to being a capable male.

The film allegedly shows some empathy for Ken, and his frustration that he’s decorative, not seen as an individual. But at the end of the day, he doesn’t have a self to actualize. He’s a tiresome boob, from start to finish, and a miscast Ryan Gosling doesn’t help much.

I’m giving “Barbie” three stars on a scale of five. But does that matter, when movie-goers are giving it a big thumbs up?

All I can say is that I am following a female role model. Like Elaine on “Seinfeld,” I have found my “English Patient.”